I've been following a blog for the last few weeks of a woman who lost her baby, her fourth son, to pertussis. He was less than two months old.
I hurt for her. I pray for her. I cry at her very real pain. She doesn't know I exist, and I wouldn't know her from Adam if I ran into her on the sidewalk.
Brian asks me why I read it. Why do I read things that don't really effect me, except to cause sadness?
And I suppose that the short answer is it could be me. That's probably terribly selfish. But if I were this mom, I would want to know that people were hurting with me, standing with me, holding me up. I am blessed to live in a time and place in which I don't see death, or even pain, every day. I know it's out there, but it's not here. But it could be. It could be my children, my family. And someday, it probably will. As much as I hate the thought, I don't suppose I'm going to get through my life without the sin that is in this world touching my family.
I hope that if (and when) it happens, I can respond with the grace that this mama has.
Come quickly, Lord Jesus.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Onward and Upward!
I've been sort of obsessed, or at least highly distracted by Brenna's quilt, now that Nathan's is done (in my defense, Brenna is equally obsessed).
So obviously this needed to get taken care of.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Nathan's Quilt
So I finished Nathan's quilt yesterday.
This thing was such a learning experience. And it shows :) I made about a bajillion mistakes. There are certain details that I hope you won't notice that are TERRIBLE (so don't look at the pics full size)! There are other things that I am just thrilled with, like the pirate ship.
The treasure chest is probably the single item that took the longest, I don't know if you can see it, but the treasure is puffy (technical term) and embroidered. Nathan LOVES the treasure chest!
I learned a lot about my sewing machine, about thread tension, about sewing faster than I ought! I learned that next time, I will probably do the quilting by hand, even though it will take fifty times longer (and after I do that, I'm sure I will commit to always using the machine).
I love these fabrics. The pirates are a little bit terrifying. I tried to talk my then-four year old out of it, but he's not scared, Mama! He insisted on the checkered fabric, so that was a little bit of a challenge to work in, but I'm really happy with how it came together. The stripes were my "inspiration fabric", the one I used to choose all the rest.
I learned that when I ask my husband for his advice and he starts a sentence with, "I don't know if it's too late to do this, but..." well, YES. YES, IT IS TOO LATE! Now thank you for letting me know you don't like how I did that!
I learned how to sew mitered corners, applique by machine (another thing I'll do by hand next time), and that quilting a twin size blanket takes a lot of strength!
I'm beginning to prepare my heart for the day when he's 25 and comes to tell me that his bride-to-be does not love pirates quite as much as he does, and I'm forced to put away this symbol of my devotion to foist on his future children.
Just kidding... sort of.
This thing was such a learning experience. And it shows :) I made about a bajillion mistakes. There are certain details that I hope you won't notice that are TERRIBLE (so don't look at the pics full size)! There are other things that I am just thrilled with, like the pirate ship.
The treasure chest is probably the single item that took the longest, I don't know if you can see it, but the treasure is puffy (technical term) and embroidered. Nathan LOVES the treasure chest!
I love these fabrics. The pirates are a little bit terrifying. I tried to talk my then-four year old out of it, but he's not scared, Mama! He insisted on the checkered fabric, so that was a little bit of a challenge to work in, but I'm really happy with how it came together. The stripes were my "inspiration fabric", the one I used to choose all the rest.
I learned how to sew mitered corners, applique by machine (another thing I'll do by hand next time), and that quilting a twin size blanket takes a lot of strength!
I'm beginning to prepare my heart for the day when he's 25 and comes to tell me that his bride-to-be does not love pirates quite as much as he does, and I'm forced to put away this symbol of my devotion to foist on his future children.
Just kidding... sort of.
Monday, January 4, 2010
A New Day
The New Year, such as it is, doesn't really mean much to me. The day does, because I get to celebrate being married to an amazing man, better than I deserve, but the changing from 09 to 10? Just another day, like the changing from May to June or Wednesday to Thursday. And yet, this New Year, I feel renewed.
In the four days since the year has changed, Brian and I have realized some things about my moods, awareness that has already changed the way I approach life each morning, for the better. I may need some help to regulate some mild depression, or maybe, awareness will be enough. Time will tell, and just knowing my situation has already made a difference.
My children have been running on empty. Red rimmed eyes and whiny voices caused by too many missed naps and late nights… part and parcel of the holiday festivities. Last night, storytime in bed at 7:10, lights out at 7:30. Today, an early lunch and naps promptly following. The change is immediate. Oh, and no more TV. To combat the wariness of grouchy children, we allowed television at all hours, a chance to have a conversation, a cup of tea, a break from children yelling and running in crazy circles in the living room. But oh, the consequences in this household of watching TV. Nothing guarantees bad behavior like time in front of a flashing box. It always amuses me, first, that I forget that this happens, and second, the difference it makes. After an announcement of "no TV this week", an arbitrary amount of time so that we can reevaluate, they don't even ask. And they are content.
Our new pastor gave an amazing sermon on Sunday about the power of prayer, about tapping into that, about the privilege we have of talking to God, and his promise to hear those called by his name. Much of what he said was thought provoking, but one thing in particular that has really stuck with me was when he said, "Sometimes when I talk to God, I start with a time of confession, because I just need to be clean before Him". This morning, I did that. And what a weight was lifted. Being critical, judgmental, catty. Short with my children and my husband. An addiction to my computer screen. What a relief to lay these things before the once who is willing and able to take them! And the joy of a renewed mind; a day in which I don't see my children's childishness as a personal affront! Silly, I know, but when one is inclined to be peevish…
So that's where I am today. It's been a great day. I haven't broken any resolutions because I didn't make any, but there are definitely places I hope to grow. And now, I will turn my computer all the way OFF and go spend some time being present with my kids.
In the four days since the year has changed, Brian and I have realized some things about my moods, awareness that has already changed the way I approach life each morning, for the better. I may need some help to regulate some mild depression, or maybe, awareness will be enough. Time will tell, and just knowing my situation has already made a difference.
My children have been running on empty. Red rimmed eyes and whiny voices caused by too many missed naps and late nights… part and parcel of the holiday festivities. Last night, storytime in bed at 7:10, lights out at 7:30. Today, an early lunch and naps promptly following. The change is immediate. Oh, and no more TV. To combat the wariness of grouchy children, we allowed television at all hours, a chance to have a conversation, a cup of tea, a break from children yelling and running in crazy circles in the living room. But oh, the consequences in this household of watching TV. Nothing guarantees bad behavior like time in front of a flashing box. It always amuses me, first, that I forget that this happens, and second, the difference it makes. After an announcement of "no TV this week", an arbitrary amount of time so that we can reevaluate, they don't even ask. And they are content.
Our new pastor gave an amazing sermon on Sunday about the power of prayer, about tapping into that, about the privilege we have of talking to God, and his promise to hear those called by his name. Much of what he said was thought provoking, but one thing in particular that has really stuck with me was when he said, "Sometimes when I talk to God, I start with a time of confession, because I just need to be clean before Him". This morning, I did that. And what a weight was lifted. Being critical, judgmental, catty. Short with my children and my husband. An addiction to my computer screen. What a relief to lay these things before the once who is willing and able to take them! And the joy of a renewed mind; a day in which I don't see my children's childishness as a personal affront! Silly, I know, but when one is inclined to be peevish…
So that's where I am today. It's been a great day. I haven't broken any resolutions because I didn't make any, but there are definitely places I hope to grow. And now, I will turn my computer all the way OFF and go spend some time being present with my kids.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Beautiful Girl
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Miscellany 12.20.09
I have about a million pictures on my camera, so my next few posts are going to be pic intensive! I have one (count it... ONE) deep thought in my head, but I'm not sure how to articulate it, so that will be coming sooner or later.
Tonight at dinner, I served twice baked potatoes. As some of you know, my two eldest children don't consider potatoes edible unless they are of the french fried variety. Nathan asked me in his most polite voice, "Mom, could you never, ever make this ever again?"
Brian is dog tired after working from 4am to noon Saturday and Sunday. I am thrilled for the two coming four day weekends.
I'm pretty sure Nathan's quilt will be done for Christmas. Yay!! It's weird to have a project that I've spent a year working on, but Brenna is eager for me to start on hers. It will be pink and pupple (yes, I meant to do that).
We have an ornament graveyard going on the kitchen counter. And none of them were broken by the baby.
An old friend brought a great book store, Better World Books to my attention. They have a 5 for $15 bargain bin with free shipping, so I just scrolled through books until I found five that I knew I wanted for the kids. Only a couple of them are appropriate right now, but I got Sarah, Plain and Tall. It's a short little book, and I decided to read it because I remember not really caring for it as a kid. It's heart wrenching. The story is about a widower who advertises for a wife in the newspaper, and his two children, as they prepare to welcome Sarah into their lives. The most important criterion? That she sing, because there has been no music in their house since their mother died. It's got me thinking about emotional maturity and when it's appropriate to introduce negative emotions in a safe way. I can't remember when I read it... probably around third or fourth grade.
We have only one meal's worth of turkey left from Thanksgiving, and I've decided that next year I'M NOT MAKING A TURKEY. Blasphemy, I know. But I've never particularly liked turkey, and having several meals of it after the big day, on top of the work of making it in the first place... just not worth it. Besides, Thanksgiving is about the carbs anyway, right?
Okay, I think that's it. My brain is sort of empty for the moment. If you made it this far, thank you!
Tonight at dinner, I served twice baked potatoes. As some of you know, my two eldest children don't consider potatoes edible unless they are of the french fried variety. Nathan asked me in his most polite voice, "Mom, could you never, ever make this ever again?"
Brian is dog tired after working from 4am to noon Saturday and Sunday. I am thrilled for the two coming four day weekends.
I'm pretty sure Nathan's quilt will be done for Christmas. Yay!! It's weird to have a project that I've spent a year working on, but Brenna is eager for me to start on hers. It will be pink and pupple (yes, I meant to do that).
We have an ornament graveyard going on the kitchen counter. And none of them were broken by the baby.
An old friend brought a great book store, Better World Books to my attention. They have a 5 for $15 bargain bin with free shipping, so I just scrolled through books until I found five that I knew I wanted for the kids. Only a couple of them are appropriate right now, but I got Sarah, Plain and Tall. It's a short little book, and I decided to read it because I remember not really caring for it as a kid. It's heart wrenching. The story is about a widower who advertises for a wife in the newspaper, and his two children, as they prepare to welcome Sarah into their lives. The most important criterion? That she sing, because there has been no music in their house since their mother died. It's got me thinking about emotional maturity and when it's appropriate to introduce negative emotions in a safe way. I can't remember when I read it... probably around third or fourth grade.
We have only one meal's worth of turkey left from Thanksgiving, and I've decided that next year I'M NOT MAKING A TURKEY. Blasphemy, I know. But I've never particularly liked turkey, and having several meals of it after the big day, on top of the work of making it in the first place... just not worth it. Besides, Thanksgiving is about the carbs anyway, right?
Okay, I think that's it. My brain is sort of empty for the moment. If you made it this far, thank you!
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