A New Day

The New Year, such as it is, doesn't really mean much to me. The day does, because I get to celebrate being married to an amazing man, better than I deserve, but the changing from 09 to 10? Just another day, like the changing from May to June or Wednesday to Thursday. And yet, this New Year, I feel renewed.

In the four days since the year has changed, Brian and I have realized some things about my moods, awareness that has already changed the way I approach life each morning, for the better. I may need some help to regulate some mild depression, or maybe, awareness will be enough. Time will tell, and just knowing my situation has already made a difference.

My children have been running on empty. Red rimmed eyes and whiny voices caused by too many missed naps and late nights… part and parcel of the holiday festivities. Last night, storytime in bed at 7:10, lights out at 7:30. Today, an early lunch and naps promptly following. The change is immediate. Oh, and no more TV. To combat the wariness of grouchy children, we allowed television at all hours, a chance to have a conversation, a cup of tea, a break from children yelling and running in crazy circles in the living room. But oh, the consequences in this household of watching TV. Nothing guarantees bad behavior like time in front of a flashing box. It always amuses me, first, that I forget that this happens, and second, the difference it makes. After an announcement of "no TV this week", an arbitrary amount of time so that we can reevaluate, they don't even ask. And they are content.

Our new pastor gave an amazing sermon on Sunday about the power of prayer, about tapping into that, about the privilege we have of talking to God, and his promise to hear those called by his name. Much of what he said was thought provoking, but one thing in particular that has really stuck with me was when he said, "Sometimes when I talk to God, I start with a time of confession, because I just need to be clean before Him". This morning, I did that. And what a weight was lifted. Being critical, judgmental, catty. Short with my children and my husband. An addiction to my computer screen. What a relief to lay these things before the once who is willing and able to take them! And the joy of a renewed mind; a day in which I don't see my children's childishness as a personal affront! Silly, I know, but when one is inclined to be peevish…

So that's where I am today. It's been a great day. I haven't broken any resolutions because I didn't make any, but there are definitely places I hope to grow. And now, I will turn my computer all the way OFF and go spend some time being present with my kids.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 1:9